Are you a glass half empty or half full person?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a person who is usually a glass half full kinda girl. I’m not always though. I live with chronic pain and Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). When I have a flare, life gets a little bit more complicated, both physically and mentally. My way of coping with it is to look at the positives. I have a good support network around me and my pain tells me I’m still alive. Being positive though doesn’t mean everything is rosy. I am also a realist. When I am feeling glass half empty, I have to allow those feelings and take a step back. However, I am also an optimist, I tell myself, ‘this too will pass’ and it usually does.
So how do you become more positive and optimistic, especially at times like these when we have been living in lockdown, the way we work has changed, being away from our loved ones?
Laughter is the Best Medicine
For me, when I am going through a rough patch, I use humour. I have a dark sense of humour and luckily, I have people around me who understand me. Laughter helps me with my pain, it releases endorphins. So, when I’m in a bad place, I will say to my boss, ‘Don’t be nice to me or I’ll cry’. I get a bit more emotional at these times. She’s fabulous. She’ll say to me ‘Pull yourself together Mechelle’ and she’ll say things to get me to laugh (usually when I’m crying at the same time).
If anyone heard us, you’d think she was being really quite harsh, but she knows what I need, she knows when I’ve pushed myself too far and when to challenge me to take a step back, reminding me of what we have accomplished. We have a conversation of what is real and the positives of a situation. We both do this for each other when things may not be going as they should be.
That is trust, where we can both be vulnerable. We are psychologically safe. We have each other’s back.
Positive People vs Mood Hoovers
I have surrounded myself with grounded people who are not afraid to check in on each other. I try very hard not to have ‘mood hoovers’ around me. They drain me of my positiveness, my silver lining around the clouds.
For me, work is a distraction, keeping my team’s morale high helps me pick myself up. In a way, it is about positivity breeding positivity. So, most of the time, this will mean I will be positive and optimistic even when I’m not fully present mentally or physically. I know that someone has got my back and this moment in time will eventually improve. Why? Because generally it always does. That is how I want to live my life.
How do you want to live yours?
How to become more Positive and Optimistic
How do you pull yourself through these times? Do you look at the good of a situation or do you look at the negative?
Do you surround yourself by shiny stars or mood hoovers?
Try and surround yourself with people who can pull you up, not drag you down. I’m not talking about your life being really fluffy, but if you surround yourself in people who do not want the best for you or challenge your thinking, are you creating an environment where you can be positive and optimistic for the future?
How do you start your day or week? Do you start your day being positive? Or do you start the week thinking ‘It’s Monday, I can’t wait until the weekend’.
How about looking at ‘What will we/I achieve this week’, ‘How many people can I make smile when I walk down the corridor today’. This is one of my favourites – and when I’m down, I’m even known to wave at people in cars – much to my son’s disdain. They generally wave back and I know they’ll spend the rest of the day thinking – who was that? Smiling at people walking down the corridor is a bit harder these days with masks, but if I smile, my eyes will crinkle and they will make contact with another pair of eyes. If their eyes crinkle, I know I’ve spread my smile to someone else.
Would that lift your mood if you caught a smile from someone else?
Practicing Gratitude – Random Acts of Kindness
Another way to be positive is to do a random act of kindness with nothing in return. Paying for a coffee for the person behind you. Sending a thank you card for something that someone did to make your life easier. You get a feeling of joy and so do they. It doesn’t take much.
Be really nice if you have to speak to someone dealing with a complaint. You don’t know what they have had to put up with that day. Treat them as a human being. Be kind and live your life kindly.
What random act of kindness will you do today? I look forward to hearing your stories.
Useful Materials
The Art of Being Brilliant – Andy Cope and Andy Whittaker
Zest – How to Squeeze the Max Out of Life – Andy Cope, Gavin Oates and Will Hussey
Smiling is Infectious by Spike Milligan
Simon Sinek – How I became an Optimist
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