The Real Impact of Overlooking Recognition
This year, I celebrated 30 years working in the NHS. Thirty years of showing up, doing the work, learning, stretching, growing, giving. It’s been a journey of purpose and challenge, of joy and heartbreak. Through it all, one thing has remained consistent: the people. The brilliance, resilience and humanity of those I’ve had the privilege to work alongside.
So, when I didn’t receive a card acknowledging my service, I was surprised by how much it hurt.
At first, I thought it was just delayed. Then a friend mentioned they were surprised I hadn’t received anything yet. Another colleague kindly checked for me. And that’s when I found out that due to budget changes, colour printing had been paused. They were waiting to see if it would resume. My card had been held back. Forgotten in the wait.
HR contacted me directly to explain and while I truly appreciated the honesty, the emotion of it all caught me off guard. I didn’t expect to feel so invisible. So devalued. So quietly dismissed by a system I’ve given so much to.
The irony is, I felt incredibly valued by my immediate colleagues. A friend turned up with flowers and cakes. My manager brought cakes into a team meeting. I felt celebrated by the people and that’s what truly mattered. But the absence of a simple, symbolic gesture from the wider organisation sent a very different message.
This isn’t about a card. It never was. It’s about what that card represents.
The Disconnect Between Values and Experience
We talk a lot about culture in our organisations. About our values. About people feeling recognised, included and seen. But when it comes to the everyday experiences of staff, those promises don’t always land.
We say we want to value our people. But how do we do that in practice? How do we ensure our systems and behaviours align with our values? Because when they don’t, the emotional fallout can be significant.
Since I shared my experience, I’ve heard from many others – who’ve never received acknowledgment for their years of service or their extra efforts. People who have worked tirelessly. Managers who celebrate others, but are rarely recognised themselves.
And if this is happening in multiple workplaces, across sectors and levels, we need to ask: are our recognition processes truly fit for purpose?
Why It Matters More Than We Think
Recognition is about being seen. It’s a way of saying, “We notice you. You matter”.
And yet, in high-pressure environments—whether in healthcare, education, finance, tech or retail—recognition can so easily be pushed down the priority list. It becomes a tick-box. Or worse, completely forgotten.
But here’s the truth: Recognition is not a luxury. It’s a vital part of a healthy workplace culture. It supports staff wellbeing, engagement and retention.
The emotional cost of being overlooked is real. It leads to disengagement. To burnout. To quiet quitting. Not because people stop caring, but because they stop believing the organisation cares about them. And when that happens, we lose more than motivation. We lose trust.
For me, it raised a deeper question: How many others are walking around with this quiet disappointment? How many are thinking, “That’s enough now,” and pulling back from the extra mile they once gave so willingly?
What Needs to Change
This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. And accountability.
If we genuinely want to build cultures where people feel valued, we need to:
- Audit our recognition processes. Are they consistent? Inclusive? Meaningful? Are people clear about how they’re acknowledged for service, contribution or innovation?
- Invest in small but impactful gestures. A handwritten note. A personal thank you. A shout-out in a meeting. These don’t require huge budgets—just intention.
- Recognise leaders and managers too. Those who give to others often go unrecognised themselves. Let’s not forget to look up and across—not just down.
- Align actions with values. If we talk about kindness, care and belonging, we need to live that in every interaction—not just in posters and mission statements.
Because when recognition becomes something people have to chase, explain or justify, it loses its meaning. Worse still, it becomes performative.
For Leaders and HR Professionals
The lesson here isn’t just about my personal experience. It’s about the broader implications of how we see and support people in the workplace. It’s a call to review the gaps between policy and practice. To humanise our systems. To ensure that the culture we talk about is the culture we live.
Moving Forward
I’m proud of my 30 years. I wouldn’t trade the lessons, relationships or impact. But I’m also deeply aware of the emotional labour that has come with it. The parts of myself I gave, sometimes unquestioningly.
I’m sharing this not to centre myself, but to use my voice for those who might not feel able to speak up. For those who have given so much and been seen so little.
And to say this: we can do better. We must do better.
Let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s build a culture where recognition isn’t rare, or accidental, or budget dependent. Let’s make it a natural part of how we lead, work, and care.
Because the small things? They’re not small at all.
Resources to Build Cultures of Recognition
Whether you’re in healthcare, the corporate world, education or beyond, these resources can support your journey:
The People Promise (NHS England)
Michael West: Compassionate Leadership
Gallup: Building a Culture of Recognition
Simon Sinek on Leadership and Belonging
The Power of Appreciation – Mike Robbins
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me. If you are interested in being coached, contact me to chat through by booking a free 15 minute consultation Skyline Coaching Electronic Diary
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