We’ve all heard the advice: “Don’t give up. Keep pushing. Stay the course.” Society loves a good perseverance story, but what if the bravest thing you could do is actually walk away? What if quitting is not a failure, but an act of self-care?
Through coaching, I’ve worked with many individuals who start with the belief that they just need to “tough it out”—that leaving a job, a toxic workplace or a career that no longer serves them is not an option. But as they start to recognise their own self-worth, many come to a surprising realisation: they don’t need to stay where they are not valued.
When Does Perseverance Turn into Self-Harm?
Sticking things out isn’t always a virtue. Sometimes, staying in a harmful situation chips away at your confidence, energy and mental well-being. Here are some key signs that it might be time to reassess:
- You wake up dreading the day, every day.
- You feel undervalued or invisible, despite your efforts.
- Your work environment is draining your emotional and mental energy.
- You’re constantly questioning your own abilities because of toxic feedback or unrealistic demands.
- The stress and frustration from your job spill into your personal life and relationships.
If any of these sound familiar, it’s worth asking yourself: Am I staying because I truly want to, or because I feel I have no choice?
How Coaching Can Help You Find Clarity
One of the biggest fears around leaving a job or changing careers is the uncertainty of what’s next. This is where coaching can be transformative. Instead of making a rushed decision out of frustration, coaching helps you:
- Identify what truly matters to you in your career and life.
- Understand the fears that are keeping you stuck.
- Build confidence in your ability to make a transition.
- Explore new possibilities that align with your values and strengths.
Leaving Without Guilt
For many, the hardest part of quitting isn’t the act itself—it’s the guilt. “What if I’m letting my team down?” “What if I regret it?” “What if I fail elsewhere?” These thoughts can keep you tethered to a situation that no longer serves you.
Here’s the truth: You are not responsible for holding up an unhealthy environment. Prioritising your well-being is not selfish; it’s necessary. You are allowed to seek a place where you feel valued and fulfilled.
Rebuilding Your Identity After a Career Shift
For those who’ve spent years in the same industry or role, leaving can feel like losing a part of who you are. But what if it’s actually a chance to redefine yourself? Instead of seeing it as an ending, consider it a beginning. Who do you want to become? What do you want your work to contribute to your life?
Whether you choose to stay or leave, the most important thing is that you’re making a decision that aligns with you. You deserve to work in a place that respects you. You deserve to feel valued. And most importantly, you deserve to be happy.
If any of this resonates with you and you’re wondering what your next step should be, coaching might be the right support system to help you gain clarity. The right decision isn’t always the easy one—but it’s always worth it.
Supporting Materials
Recognising When Perseverance Turns into Self-Harm
10 Signs It’s Time To Leave A Toxic Workplace
This article outlines key indicators that your work environment may be detrimental to your well-being.
9 Signs of a Toxic Work Environment (and How to Deal)
Learn about common signs of toxic workplaces and strategies to address them.
Recognising When Perseverance Turns into Self-Harm
“Knowing When to Quit” by Sarah Weiler
Sarah Weiler challenges the societal pride associated with “not quitting,” especially when a job or activity causes harm. She advocates for recognising the right time to walk away for the sake of mental and physical health.
“The Real Reasons People Quit” by Bonnie Low-Kramen
Workplace expert Bonnie Low-Kramen delves into the often unspoken reasons behind resignations, highlighting the serious and long-lasting trauma and mental health issues that can result from staying in toxic environments.
How Coaching Can Help with Career Transitions
“Career Change: The Questions You Need to Ask Yourself Now” by Laura Sheehan
Laura Sheehan shares her experiences of finding employment across seven countries and provides guidance on how to navigate career transitions successfully, emphasising the role of coaching in this journey.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me. If you are interested in being coached, contact me to chat through by booking a free 15 minute consultation Skyline Coaching Electronic Diary
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